FAILURE: 10 Reasons Why I Am a Terrible Mother (and why working full-time isn't one of them)

Reasons why I am a terrible mother.

1. River has gone to bed around 10pm 3 or 4 nights this past week.
2. I don't correct River when she says "sit" and it sounds like a swear word. I think it's funny.
3. Organic? Gluten free? Sugar free? River ate a full banana today and it was a personal victory for me.
4. River likes Mountain Dew and Diet Coke. Stop shaking your head at me.
5. River already knows how to work the iPad and she's not even two yet. I'm quite ashamed of this.
6. I buy River popcorn every time we go to Target. It's the only way I get through the trip without an epic toddler melt down. However, it does make me feel a little bit better that I pay the full price for the bag of popcorn and only ask them to fill it up a quarter of the way.
7. River watches way too much TV. I loathe Mickie Mouse Clubhouse.
8. I've never had my daughter on a schedule, EVER. Do I pay for it sometimes? Yes. Was my reasoning for never having her on a schedule because I selfishly didn't want a schedule? Yes. See Reason #1.
9. Sometimes I take the easy way out. Let me just give you one example. Today (and a few other times) I gave River an otter pop to chew on when she's getting really tired before her afternoon nap. 99% of the time it takes too long to eat and she falls asleep in her high chair. So much easier than trying to get her to stay in her toddler bed for a nap.
10. I'm short on patience for River, Randy and myself. I save up all my good graces for everyone else around me. 

I am a terrible mother for all of those reasons, and more. But I am not a terrible mother because I have a full time job. This is something I have been struggling with since I found out I was pregnant with River. I've always dreamed of being a stay at home mom and knew that I wouldn't get to be one for a long time. I was excited to have a little one join our family but deep down I was scared that she would grow to resent me for being away from her so much.

It's taken long enough for me to get over these feelings but I've learned something today. 

I should be grateful. 

Instead of feeling sorry for myself here and there, and wishing I was just like most of my friends who get to stay at home with their kids, I should be grateful.

• Grateful that I have a passion outside of my family that I can throw myself into.
• Grateful for a job and office staff that I love!
• Grateful that River gets to spend quality time with her Grandmas (and sometimes Grandpas!) who love and adore her so much and that they get to help raise her. There are no two women I trust to help me raise my daughter more than them.
• Grateful that River gets to spend quality time alone with her Daddy to strengthen their bond, away from Mama.
• Grateful for a supportive husband who doesn't mind helping with the dishes, laundry, dinners, etc. and who shares parenting 50/50 with me instead of doing it or feeling like I'm doing everything by myself.
• Grateful that my income helped buy the house my family lives in.
• Grateful that my income allows my family to be comfortable and go on adventures.
• Grateful that my daughter will know the value of hard work and the blessings it brings.
• Grateful for the time that I do have with River, it makes it even sweeter. She knows it and I know it.
• Grateful that I'm not alone and that its socially okay to be a working mother now.

But most importantly, I'm grateful for the little voice I hear saying "Mama" as she runs to me when I pick her up after work. It really is the greatest feeling in the world. 

 

 

FIND: Fave4 Hair

"Can't say it enough. Change your hair, change your life"

-Thomas Pynchon

We all love a good compliment! Who doesn't? Most people would agree that small compliments make our day. Ones I remember most have to do with the type of mother I am. Those compliments make me BEAM on the inside. I love a good "You're such a great mom!" compliment. But the compliments I get most involve my hair. I'll be the first to admit, I love my hair. I've got great hair. It doesn't mean I'm vain, it's just something I like about myself. I mean, HELLOOO, I won the "Best Hair" superlative in high school and that means something right? Did you get my sarcasm there?

On what little down time that I do have (after 9pm when River goes to bed while my husband watches arguably the worst shows on TV, in my opinion), I love cruising youtube, instagram, and blogs looking for great hair styles, hair products, you name it. I started seeing the same brand over and over again. , Fave4 Hair found here.

I just ordered two of their products and I'm in LOVE, like heart-eyes emojis in love. The first is this glorious bottle.

If you want some serious volume you NEED this in your life. I love using it three ways...
1) Spray it on your roots and the middle of your hair while wet before blow drying.
2) Second day hair lift. Just spray on your roots as you would dry shampoo and get instant lift.
3) After I curl my hair, I'll separate the curls with my fingers and spray this on them and scrunch the curls with my hands. Makes my hair/curls looks HUGE and I LOVE IT!

**Bonus tip, spray it on your buns and braids for a textured, messy vibe. I just bought this about a month ago and its almost gone if that tells you anything....

This is the second product I ordered:

This is just a medium weight hairspray but it holds so well. I can't use a lightweight hairspray on my hair because i have such thick, heavy hair. This stuff does the trick. I spray it all over after I use Texture Takeover.

And if this isn't good enough news already, THEY SMELL AMAZING!!!!! And each bottle is only $18. That's right, $18 is cheap when it comes to name brand hairsprays that work this well.

YouTube it, google it, read the testimonials or just BUY IT. Do yourself the favor.

You're welcome.

FUN MAMA MOMENT: River's Big-Girl Room

It's quite hard to believe that we made this transition. Where has the time gone? Literally, yesterday she was this 3 month old chubby bear....

Everyone warned me...they all said she would grow up in the blink of an eye. I didn't believe it and I'm feeling guilty for little moments with her that I didn't take advantage of; putting her to bed early because I was tired of her crying, not holding her a little longer after rocking her to sleep, sitting on the couch browsing Instagram instead of reading or playing with her, etc. Of course these are all small moments of time, but before I knew it she's started saying words, telling me what she wants, becoming little miss independent who wants to do everything herself. Breaks my heart really...

Now that she's ready, we've completely transitioned her room. It was the funnest project for me and my mom, who's clearly the most talented lady ever. You'll see why. Due to the excitement to start the project, there are no before pictures. Whoops...

I can't seem to shake my pineapple infatuation so River has to suffer from it. We did a pineapple, island-y, beach-y theme with mint, gold and coral accents. I can't even explain the excitement Riv had when she saw her room. Here is the final product!

This is the funnest bed courtesy of Ikea. It's the KURA bed and if you search pinterest for it you will find makeover after makeover of this bed. This is our take. It's the absolute best. Oh and do you see that lantern hanging there? Adorbs I know. And that cute banner that my mom made. I can't even! (She also made some of the pillows. Remember how I mentioned she's amazing?)

IKEA Kura Bed is found here, obviously.

I'll just say it. I have a LOVE for a great gallery wall. 

All frames are random pick-ups from good 'ole Home Goods, 

IKEA (the gold frames were $2.99 each and I spray painted them), 

Hobby Lobby...all the greats.

I found most of the prints on the cutest Etsy shops.

WISHBIGPAPER

PINK TRANQUILITIE

APEX DESIGNS

and STARS AND PEACHES.

And some were handmade by awesome friends.

 I can't wait for Riv to get creative on her easel and paint, color and draw on it one day. She is ONLY in the stage of pulling out the whole spool of paper right now so that's been taken away. But its a great accent piece to the room now and we love it. 

I really can't get over how awesome this toy bin turned out. It doubles as stairs to get into River's bed and she can't stop climbing. Toddlers... 

MALA Art Easel here. 

TROFAST Toy Storage Unit here.

 This DIY magnet board was a hit with River girl.

Spent a whopping $11 on a giant oil drip pan from Auto Zone, painted it with white 

chalkboard paint, made some cute garland to cover the large company imprint and VOILA.

After adding the cute pineapple decals I just printed some google images I thought 

would be cute and ran them through the laminator and added magnet strips to the back. 

River has spent the most time at this board since her room has been finished.

I think it's her favorite.

 Under her bed we made this small little play area complete with her dollhouse, play table, shopping cart, and THE CUTEST vintage magazine rack to hold some of her books that we read right before bedtime.  And yes, we do read up to 13 books a night. Homegirl likes her books. 

Play table found here. Chairs here.

Melissa and Doug Dollhouse found here.

Vintage gold magazine rack found at Home Goods.

My favorite....the book shelves. Showcasing all the books we love and ready every day.

BTW Mom's...get to Home Goods NOW! They have the cutest modern takes on classic books like Red Riding Hood, Three Little Pigs and Goldilocks (pictured). They're amazing.

Lastly, her little dresser and trolly cart really add the cutest touches the the room.

For the dresser we found a small lamp at IKEA that was pretty inexpensive. The plant and pink lantern are also from IKEA. The golf leaf and pineapple tea pot are from Home Goods. 

The teal trolly cart is from IKEA. Curtains also from IKEA.

I'm in love with the room. I'm also glad it's completely done!

Let's hope time doesn't pass as quickly this time around and we're not getting 

ready for River's pre-teen room any time soon! 

FIND: Ollie Jones Clothing

You guys! I have a great find for you.

Some of you may or may not have heard of Ollie Jones clothing. If you haven't, do yourself a favor and check them out. See for yourselves...

Gold Arrow Leggings - $32.00

Pineapple Shorts - $28.00

Pineapple Leggings - $32.00

Lemon Leggings - $32.00

Lemon Shorts - $28.00

Lemon Dress - $49.00

Lemon Headband - $12.00

And they have so many other cute prints.

 Here you can buy Ollie Jones online.

If your local in Orange County, they can also be found in Granola Babies

store at SOCO in Costa Mesa.